Janaury is a month of goodbyes for me.
I started by saying goodbye to most of my hair. This was actually a bit over due. Every few years, I get tired of the expense and effort of long curly hair and revert to a bob. Saying goodbye to 6 inches of hair also means saying goodbye to braids and ponytails and hair tossing.
I'd be upset, but I also just gained an extra 5 hours a week to do anything but maintain my mane.
Now the timing of this first goodbye is directly related to the other goodbyes I'm saying this month. They say these things come in threes...
Bertha & Helga
I've known these girls since the 6th grade. We've climbed trees, scored goals, read Shakespeare, written poetry, gone to prom, moved away for college, endured homeownership and heartache together. I honestly don't remember life without them. They are so much a part of who I have been and am today.
Sadly, not all realtionships a built to last.
Last summer I learned that Bertha and Helga weren't 100% Team Katey. They are card carrying members of a group of totalitarian insurectionists called the Bosom Ruination Cancer Army - 2nd Infantry.
After some serious soul searching and with the support of my REAL friends, I acceoted the fact that I can't live my life wondering if and when the girls will launch an attack on the very center of my being. My only option and a happy, stress-free (relatively at least) is to cut them out of my life entirely.
So at the end of this month I will say goodbye to Bertha & Helga, goodbye to breast cancer screenings every six months, goodbye to evenings on the phone with the insurance company, and goodbye to risk. I will also say hello to two new friends - I've heard they are Swiss and non-political.
Several friends have asked if I am scared. Was Elizabeth I scared when she sent Mary, Queen of Scots to the gallows? No. I'm sure she wished for a different outcome, that her cousin had not plotted agaisnt her, but at the end of the day she had to put her own life first.
I'll likely drink a few rounds to the good times I've shared with Bertha & Helga before they meet their doom, but I will not weep for them. I am too filled with joy for what their absence means for me.