On Investment Strategy

At 35 I began investing in myself. Truly, intentionally, investing in myself and the person I wanted to become. I was eager to jumpstart my career and big brand, big city, “agency life” was my next step, so I sold my house in suburban Charlotte, loaded up my Jetta and hit the road for NYC with my dog Buckshot.

At the time people kept remarking on how brave it was to start over somewhere else, how courageous I was to make such a big change. It wasn’t brave or courageous. It was reckless, scary, and ambitious. Courage came later. One year into this new adventure, I was working with and learning from some of the very best in the business. We were winnering major awards. Professionally, things were great. Personally, I was miserable and isolated. It seems inevitable with hindsight. I left the comfort of a home I’d owned for nearly 10 years, a community I’d called my own for my entire adult life. I left a comfortable job. I said goodbye to close friends. I uprooted myself in pursuit of professional advancement with no consideration for the rest of me.

Courage came in acknowledging that I was someone who loved Sunday drives on country roads and early morning hikes in the woods with a dog named Buckshot. Courage was asking to work 100% remote just a year into my big agency career because I’d rather reimagine my job than reimagine myself.

Acknowledging my needs and having the courage to share them paid off. I moved back to Charlotte and transitioned to a more strategic role learning from one of the very best in the business. I was working on major accounts, meeting my friends early every Saturday morning for Premier League, hiking my favorite trials with Buckshot. Everything had fallen into place…

Time to make another investment: my physical health.

Several years before we learned that a BRCA2 gene mutation ran in my father’s family. With guidance from our trusted family physician and a genetic counselor I underwent genetic testing and confirmed I inherited the mutation and that I'm at high risk for breast and ovarian cancer as well as at increased risk of developing pancreatic cancer and melanoma. So began a five year journey to reduce my risk of cancer and endeavor to live on my own terms.

Taking on this challenge back in Charlotte, with the support of family and friends, was key to my confidence that I could take it on. I underwent countless tests, procedures, and surgeries to virtually eliminate my risk of breast and ovarian cancer and manage my risk of pancreatic cancer and melanoma. Preventative healthcare was my full-time, part-time job. So much so that Google began offering my directions to “work” at the cancer clinic.

Early in the process I had the opportunity to invest again in my career and live a dream I didn’t even know to dream when I was young - working in sports. Shortly after being cleared to return to work from my second breast surgery, I left agency life and joined the NASCAR family. I don’t know if I would have been able to achieve and endure all I did to address my risk of cancer without my triumvirate of support:

Family: learning, addressing, and supporting each other and our shared risk

Friends: encouraging and supporting me as I learned about my risk and options, but most importantly my choices and recoveries

NASCAR Family: supporting my personal health needs and professional ambition so that I never had to choose one over the other

By January of 2020, the hardest part of my BRCA journey was behind me and I was looking forward to diverting all the time and energy I’d been putting into my health towards my career and hobbies. We all know how the plans we made for 2020 worked out…

My BRCA journey had prepared me for this though. I knew how to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations. I was experienced at integrating preventative healthcare measures in everyday life. I excelled at not losing focus on the big picture while doing hard things. I fixed my eyes on the horizon and pushed through.

The only problem, and I couldn’t see it yet, was that you can’t push past the horizon line without checking your maps.

I spent five years doing hard things and setting aside many of the emotional impacts for the end of the journey. 2020 was supposed to be that time. My moment to exhale. Instead, I did what I learned to do to tackle my risk of cancer, I set my emotions aside, relied on logic and reason to guide me, and got on with things. Only this time, I did so in isolation while carrying 5 years worth of emotional baggage.

By the start of 2023, it was clear not only was that emotional weight taking a toll but by not addressing my mental health proactively I was beginning to damage my physical health.

Time to invest in my mental health.

While on a work trip at the start of the season, I was forced to acknowledge that anorexia was a part of my life again. I thought I’d conquered it 20 years ago but it was back and had evolved into something I didn’t possess the tools to battle on my own.

I was terrified but confident I could handle it. I knew how to do the research, assemble a team of experts, balance treatments with work life. I had an amazing team at work who I could be open with and supported my needs as I began treatment. I had family and friends who showed up without judgment or agenda. It might take some time, but I had a plan.

What I didn’t account for was that there was no way to unravel and address my anorexia without unpacking all the emotional baggage from my BRCA journey too.

I saw two paths for my recovery. First, the long slow road of addressing traumas and triggers, relearning and rebuilding healthy habits, while continuing in my current lifestyle. Second, change my environment entirely and build new habits in a place I have no history to overcome.

As seems to always happen for me, the right professional opportunity arrived as I was considering my options. So I find myself writing this from my new home in Detroit, a city I only visited 5 times before moving here. I’m putting my talents to work for the Detroit Pistons, another abundantly generous and supportive professional family. In my “downtime” I’m putting in the work to finally address all the emotions I set aside to do hard things. I’m striving to establish and maintain healthy habits that honor the sacrifices I made confronting my risk of cancer.

Today at 46, I’m investing in myself - my whole self.